Entries Tagged "humor"
Page 19 of 24
Is Everything a Bomb These Days?
In New Mexico, a bomb squad blew up two CD players, duct-taped to the bottoms of church pews, that played pornographic messages during Mass. This is a pretty funny high school prank and I hope the kids that did it get suitably punished. But they’re not terrorists. And I have a hard time believing that the police actually thought CD players were bombs.
Meanwhile, Irish police blew up a tape dispenser left outside a police station.
And not to be outdone, the Dutch police mistook one of their own transmitters for a bomb. At least they didn’t blow anything up.
Okay, everyone. We need some ideas, here. If we’re going to think everything weird is a bomb, then the false alarms are going to kill any hope of security.
EDITED TO ADD (3/3): If you’re having trouble identifying bombs, this quiz should help. And here’s a relevant cartoon.
Random Number Humor
I’ll bet this sort of problem is pretty common.
Dave Barry on Super Bowl Security
Also, if you are planning to go to the Super Bowl game on Sunday, be aware that additional security measures will be in effect, as follows:
- WHEN TO ARRIVE: All persons attending the game MUST arrive at the stadium no later than 7:45 a.m. yesterday. There will be NO EXCEPTIONS. I am talking to you, Prince.
- PERSONAL BELONGINGS: Fans will not be allowed to take anything into the stadium except medically required organs. If you need, for example, both kidneys, you will be required to produce a note from your doctor, as well as your actual doctor.
- TAILGATING: There will be no tailgating. This is to thwart the terrorists, who are believed to have been planning a tailgate-based attack (code name ”Death Hibachi”) involving the detonation of a nuclear bratwurst capable of leveling South Florida, if South Florida was not already so level to begin with.
- TALKING: There will be no talking.
- PERMITTED CHEERS: The National Football League, in conjunction with the Department of Homeland Security, the FBI, the CIA and Vice President Cheney, has approved the following three cheers for use during the game: (1) ”You suck, ref!” (2) ”Come on, (Name of Team)!” (3) “You suck, Prince!”
Back in 2004, I wrote a more serious essay on security at the World Series.
"Family Guy" on Airport Security
Funny clip.
EDITED TO ADD (1/8): Amazingly enough, this was aired before 9/11. I think it makes better satire now.
The Problem with "Hiring Hackers"
The Communications Director for Montana’s Congressman Denny Rehberg solicited “hackers” to break into the computer system at Texas Christian University and change his grades (so they would look better when he eventually ran for office, I presume). The hackers posted the email exchange instead. Very funny:
First, let’s be clear. You are soliciting me to break the law and hack into a computer across state lines. That is a federal offense and multiple felonies. Obviously I can’t trust anyone and everyone that mails such a request, you might be an FBI agent, right?
So, I need three things to make this happen:
1. A picture of a squirrel or pigeon on your campus. One close-up, one with background that shows buildings, a sign, or something to indicate you are standing on the campus.
2. The information I mentioned so I can find the records once I get into the database.
3. Some idea of what I get for all my trouble.
Cryptography Comic
Alice, Bob, and Eve. (I get a mention, too.)
Voting Comic
Foxtrot on e-voting.
Remember to vote, everyone (in the US). If you don’t, there’s no chance your vote will be counted correctly.
Sidebar photo of Bruce Schneier by Joe MacInnis.