Entries Tagged "humor"
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A Million Random Digits
The Rand Corporation published A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates back in 1955, when generating random numbers was hard.
The random digits in the book were produced by rerandomization of a basic table generated by an electronic roulette wheel. Briefly, a random frequency pulse source, providing on the average about 100,000 pulses per second, was gated about once per second by a constant frequency pulse. Pulse standardization circuits passed the pulses through a 5-place binary counter. In principle the machine was a 32-place roulette wheel which made, on the average, about 3000 revolutions per trial and produced one number per second. A binary-to-decimal converter was used which converted 20 of the 32 numbers (the other twelve were discarded) and retained only the final digit of two-digit numbers; this final digit was fed into an IBM punch to produce finally a punched card table of random digits.
I have a copy of the original book; it’s one of my library’s prize possessions. I had no idea that the book was reprinted in 2002; it’s available on Amazon. But even if you don’t buy it, go to the Amazon page and read the user reviews. They’re hysterical.
This is what I said in Applied Cryptography:
The meat of the book is the “Table of Random Digits.” It lists them in five-digit groups—”10097 32533 76520 13586 …”—50 on a line and 50 lines on a page. The table goes on for 400 pages and, except for a particularly racy section on page 283 which reads “69696,” makes for a boring read.
The Onion on TSA's Liquid Ban
Elaine Siegel, Sales Representative
“Thank God. I don’t think I’d be able to make one more flight from New York to Chicago with a mouthful of shampoo.”Alex Hunter, Surveyor
“The ban was a necessary precaution. We have to be willing to make these kinds of sacrifices if we’re going to prevent scientifically impossible terrorist attacks.”Ed Johansen, Systems Analyst
“By giving passengers renewed access to these gels, lotions, and shampoos, we run the risk of creating a very dangerous and highly evasive super-slippery terrorist able to avoid all manners of restraint.”
Bomb or Not?
Can you identify the bombs?
In related news, here’s a guy who makes it through security with a live vibrator in his pants.
There’s also a funny video on Dutch TV. A screener scans a passenger’s bag, putting aside several obvious bags of cocaine to warn him about a very tiny nail file.
Here’s where to buy stuff seized at Boston’s Logan Airport. I also read somewhere that some stuff ends up on eBay.
And finally,Quinn Norton said: “I think someone should try to blow up a plane with a piece of ID, just to watch the TSA’s mind implode.”
Airport Security Cartoons
My favorite. First runner up. Also good. And this and this.
Post links to your favorites, and I will add them to the post.
EDITED TO ADD (9/13): There are just too many down there to add; scroll through the comments to find the links. But here’s a funny one from “Close to Home.”
Stephen Colbert Computer Security Tips
Stephen Colbert on protecting your computer: Part 1 and Part 2.
Behavioral Profiling
I’ve long been a fan of behavioral profiling, as opposed to racial profiling. The U.S. has been testing such a program. While there are legitimate fears that this could end up being racial profiling in disguise, I think this kind of thing is the right idea. (Although I am less impressed with this kind of thing.)
EDITED TO ADD (8/18): Funny cartoon on profiling.
There’s a moral here. Profiling is something we all do, and we do it because—for the most part—it works. But when you’re dealing with an intelligent adversary, as opposed to the cat, you invite that adversary to deliberately try to subvert your profiling system. The effectiveness of any profiling system is directly related to how likely it will be subverted.
Sidebar photo of Bruce Schneier by Joe MacInnis.