The Onion on TSA's Liquid Ban
Elaine Siegel, Sales Representative "Thank God. I don't think I'd be able to make one more flight from New York to Chicago with a mouthful of shampoo."
Alex Hunter, Surveyor
"The ban was a necessary precaution. We have to be willing to make these kinds of sacrifices if we're going to prevent scientifically impossible terrorist attacks."
Ed Johansen, Systems Analyst
"By giving passengers renewed access to these gels, lotions, and shampoos, we run the risk of creating a very dangerous and highly evasive super-slippery terrorist able to avoid all manners of restraint."
Posted on October 1, 2006 at 9:41 AM • 11 Comments