Entries Tagged "humor"

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Hacking Elections in Latin America

Long and interesting article about a fixer who hacked multiple elections in Latin America. This isn’t election hacking as in manipulate the voting machines or the vote counting, but hacking and social-media dirty tricks leading up to the election.

EDITED TO ADD: April Fool’s joke, it seems. Fooled me, probably because I read too fast. The ending is definitely suspicious.

EDITED TO ADD: Not an April Fool’s joke. I have gotten this from Bloomberg News itself. They spent a lot of time on this story — it’s 100% real. And this follow-on story is also worth reading.

This is definitely an April Fool’s joke.

Posted on April 1, 2016 at 9:50 AMView Comments

Mickens on Security

James Mickens, for your amusement. A somewhat random sample:

My point is that security people need to get their priorities straight. The “threat model” section of a security paper resembles the script for a telenovela that was written by a paranoid schizophrenic: there are elaborate narratives and grand conspiracy theories, and there are heroes and villains with fantastic (yet oddly constrained) powers that necessitate a grinding battle of emotional and technical attrition. In the real world, threat models are much simpler (see Figure 1). Basically, you’re either dealing with Mossad or not-Mossad. If your adversary is not-Mossad, then you’ll probably be fine if you pick a good password and don’t respond to emails from ChEaPestPAiNPi11s@virus-basket.biz.ru. If your adversary is the Mossad, YOU’RE GONNA DIE AND THERE’S NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. The Mossad is not intimidated by the fact that you employ https://. If the Mossad wants your data, they’re going to use a drone to replace your cellphone with a piece of uranium that’s shaped like a cellphone, and when you die of tumors filled with tumors, they’re going to hold a press conference and say “It wasn’t us” as they wear t-shirts that say “IT WAS DEFINITELY US,” and then they’re going to buy all of your stuff at your estate sale so that they can directly look at the photos of your vacation instead of reading your insipid emails about them. In summary, https:// and two dollars will get you a bus ticket to nowhere. Also, SANTA CLAUS ISN’T REAL. When it rains, it pours.

Posted on August 28, 2015 at 3:58 PMView Comments

Sidebar photo of Bruce Schneier by Joe MacInnis.