This Leaked NSA Memo Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity

Okay, it's a parody:

The Russian Federation is more complex. At a political level there's a lot of grandstanding. Operationally though, we share intelligence with Russia on anyone who is a mutual target (and that, ironically, includes most of the Russian Federation). China is our main mutual target because it refuses to share the economic intelligence data it gathers about either Russia or America. All of us, however, have agreed to share intelligence data on the French.

Posted on July 11, 2014 at 6:13 AM • 23 Comments

Comments

dandrakaJuly 11, 2014 6:17 AM

Aaaaahahahaha, "nAtIoNaL SeCuRiTy aGenCy" I think that's the only marketing they need !

JoeJuly 11, 2014 6:41 AM

LMAO at "you joined for superior pay and working conditions".

NSA employees get paid Fk All.

WhyAmInotSurprisedJuly 11, 2014 6:53 AM

And so, they have agreed to share nothing (you can't share data on something they don't have).

Shawn SmithJuly 11, 2014 9:32 AM

Squid posts don't show up until at least 3:00pm U.S. Central time (currently 8:00pm UTC). No need to get your panties in a bind yet, CoalMiner.

DBJuly 11, 2014 9:39 AM

If you want to see if the blog has been taken over by a hostile force, we could all start attacking each other verbally and see if the moderators notice...

ChristianJuly 11, 2014 9:50 AM

I feel like being the subject of an empirical study in clickbaiting.

Nick PJuly 11, 2014 10:26 AM

Great parody.

"Drugs plus US-Skeptic equals democratic instability, and we’re here to protect democracy."

Sums up much of our activity in those countries. Haha. And the French reference makes me drop the link below. It hilarious and makes one wonder why we dish out so much s*** to them.

Bill Maher on France
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKS0yISz6xQ

JohnJuly 11, 2014 11:29 AM

Anyone else notice how the quality of the discussions seems to be inversely proportional to the quality of the click bait titles?

CallMeLateForSupperJuly 11, 2014 11:35 AM

"... key policy and operational aspects of our day to day work."

So...um... lessee... That implies that there exists a non-zero fraction of NSA policy which is *not* "key", i.e. is UNimportant and/or IRrelevant to their day-to-day work. I am shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you. ;-)

AnuraJuly 11, 2014 12:49 PM

@an enraged cephalopodiatrist

Squids usually don't get posted until later in the afternoon, or earlier in the afternoon or morning/night/dawn/dusk depending on your timezone.

EvilKiruJuly 11, 2014 12:53 PM

Squid lover goes off the rails when squid post fails to show up ahead of schedule. You won't believe what happens next!

renkeJuly 11, 2014 1:46 PM

DB, I like your idea - and I think the moderation still works as I don't see any replies to your plan.

To test my theory: Pauvre con! [excuse my French] :P

more on topic - certainly over the top, but I think the general attitude in TLAs is not that far away (no good and bad in intelligence, inter-agency disputes, ...)

GregoryJuly 11, 2014 3:36 PM

Please for the love of God stop the link-bait titles. Your readers already want to be here, there's no need to entice us with such nonsense.

mj12July 11, 2014 4:45 PM

So it has made through as a separate post, eh.
It's a nice piece of work though. I even thought it was real.
Oh and the preview button is back. Good.

DBJuly 11, 2014 4:54 PM

@ renke

I had a post deleted today, moderation is working ;)

I will not say what it was, for fear of this one going too :)

Bruce SchneierJuly 12, 2014 4:53 PM

"Anyone else notice how the quality of the discussions seems to be inversely proportional to the quality of the click bait titles?"

I thought the discussion level was about the same, as long as you subtracted all the comments about the clickbait titles.

Bruce SchneierJuly 12, 2014 4:54 PM

"Squids usually don't get posted until later in the afternoon, or earlier in the afternoon or morning/night/dawn/dusk depending on your timezone."

They're generally in the 16:00 CT hour.

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