Another Fake NSA Codename Generator

Generate your own fake TAO implant. This is even more fun than the fake NSA program generator.

Sadly, the NSA will probably use these to help develop their R&D roadmap.

Posted on February 7, 2014 at 2:23 PM • 6 Comments


SamFebruary 7, 2014 3:27 PM

"LOUDTOLL is capable of omniscient data analysis.
Capabilities: Completely total"

Sounds about right.

Coyne TibbetsFebruary 7, 2014 5:23 PM

I drew one called WRONGTRAWL. The best part was how it required only 31 MW (31 megawatts) for its operation.

(Seems like the attached coal power plant would tend to make the exploit obvious...)

Wesley ParishFebruary 8, 2014 2:45 AM


Through cautious analysis, SLIMYTOLL is capable of total intelligence collation. The system sends information without the user noticing. The SLIMYTOLL implant uses only 9.84mdB to achieve excellent network exfiltration. Through narrow exfiltration, SLIMYTOLL is capable of total intel decryption.
The SLIMYTOLL instrument uses a 86.70MW CPU to send target SMSes. The system's intelligence cannot be exploited by external citizens.
Through systemic collation, SLIMYTOLL is capable of robust information exfiltration. The SLIMYTOLL device uses a 75.927mB cabling to exfiltrate citizen SMSes. The device uploads intel with only a single touch.

Linked with Yahoo's SILENTANALYST-HX architecture
Small enough to fit in a car
Supports MI6 architectures
External reader
Small enough to fit in a briefcase

I was really hoping for the FANPSPNP, the Fully Automatic Nuclear Powered Self Propelled Nose Picker, the only fully civilian application of nuclear power intended to keep politicians' noses clean.

Kent BorgFebruary 8, 2014 12:33 PM

Government employees: These generated pages probably include classified material and you are not allowed to see them. (Remember, US military blocked access to material leaked by Manning, viewing that is prohibited, too.)

-kb, the Kent who is just trying to be helpful.

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