Schneier on Security
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February 7, 2014
Another Fake NSA Codename Generator
Generate your own fake TAO implant. This is even more fun than the fake NSA program generator.
Sadly, the NSA will probably use these to help develop their R&D roadmap.
Posted on February 7, 2014 at 2:23 PM
• 6 Comments
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Notice the date always stays the same ;-)
"LOUDTOLL is capable of omniscient data analysis.
Capabilities: Completely total"
Sounds about right.
I drew one called WRONGTRAWL. The best part was how it required only 31 MW (31 megawatts) for its operation.
(Seems like the attached coal power plant would tend to make the exploit obvious...)
I drew SLIMYTOLL:
Through cautious analysis, SLIMYTOLL is capable of total intelligence collation. The system sends information without the user noticing. The SLIMYTOLL implant uses only 9.84mdB to achieve excellent network exfiltration. Through narrow exfiltration, SLIMYTOLL is capable of total intel decryption.
The SLIMYTOLL instrument uses a 86.70MW CPU to send target SMSes. The system's intelligence cannot be exploited by external citizens.
Through systemic collation, SLIMYTOLL is capable of robust information exfiltration. The SLIMYTOLL device uses a 75.927mB cabling to exfiltrate citizen SMSes. The device uploads intel with only a single touch.
Linked with Yahoo's SILENTANALYST-HX architecture
Small enough to fit in a car
Supports MI6 architectures
Small enough to fit in a briefcase
I was really hoping for the FANPSPNP, the Fully Automatic Nuclear Powered Self Propelled Nose Picker, the only fully civilian application of nuclear power intended to keep politicians' noses clean.
Government employees: These generated pages probably include classified material and you are not allowed to see them. (Remember, US military blocked access to material leaked by Manning, viewing that is prohibited, too.)
-kb, the Kent who is just trying to be helpful.
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