The Onion on Facebook

Funny news video on Facebook and the CIA.

Posted on January 19, 2012 at 1:02 PM • 23 Comments

Comments

regular_guyJanuary 19, 2012 1:17 PM

The video was obviously meant to be humorous but there is an element of truth to it. U.S. Government usage of Facebook data isn't far fetched under the Patriot Act. I'm not a fan of SOPA/PIPA, but maybe if one of those bills were to kill Facebook it wouldn't be such a bad thing. I could be wrong but I think the Intel Oversight Act only applies to DoD agencies.

backdoors for everyoneJanuary 19, 2012 6:28 PM

it's simple, really, if your component or device reads:

"FCC Approved" It's compromised.

I'm shocked more people haven't read the huge spyco dump @ wikileaks

ChristianOJanuary 19, 2012 6:30 PM

The problem of facebook is as shown in the end of the video: it runs both ways...

IF I were a criminal: best way to make sure someone else is not a cop ... check his facebook account.
Having none is already suspicious today..

GeezerJanuary 19, 2012 6:42 PM

One service I've supported handles "Enterprise" messaging to/from Mobile Devices (via SMS).

One day I saw a huge queue coming out of face book... and most of the receiving networks were cellular phone companies within Eastern Europe.

Hmmm...

(All right, so I was more confused seeing traffic coming out of Zoosk for distribution even w/i the US. I spent more than a couple of minutes looking at this particular queue with a "WTF?" look on my face.)

DavidDJanuary 19, 2012 11:30 PM

While I love this video, one of my very favorite parts was the scrolling news caption at 2:44 where they mentioned the story "Deranged mathematician commits first truly random shooting"

I can't tell you how disappointed I've been with the serial killer community and their outdated use of Pseudo-random selection criteria.

I'm so happy our wide scoped education efforts on modern security techniques have not been in vain...

Hum HoJanuary 20, 2012 11:39 AM

There are tools available to law enforcement such as "Analysts Notebook" that make it possible to analyze social network data (http://www.i2group.com/us/products/analysis-product-line/analysts-notebook/social-network-analysis). I guess sites like FrankenBook are probably part of the "Public Safety Fusion Group" and provide this data to Law Enforcement.


@DavidD
Funny you would say that as physorg just ran an article about some research on it:

Serial killing follows predictable pattern based on brain activity
http://www.physorg.com/news/2012-01-serial-pattern-based-brain.html


jrrJanuary 20, 2012 3:14 PM

@backdoors - that's amazing. I've been involved with FCC certification of a product, and I had no idea that by pulling a single unit off of production and taking it to an independent testing lab to get it emission certified that all the other units back in the warehouse would magically be compromised.

The US government truly has awesome technology available to them.

h4ndJanuary 20, 2012 7:41 PM

From the ticker tape "Magical airstrike transforms 18 Afghan civilians into insurgents"

Nick PJanuary 20, 2012 10:44 PM

@ h4nd

The tickers are great. Another good one:

"Family loses everything in a devastating series of product recalls."

"Trojan recalls 10,000 condoms just to see the look on people's faces."

LOL

Jason T. MillerJanuary 21, 2012 4:10 PM

@ChristianO

Suspicious to whom? Facebook users? Many people I know, young and old, don't use Facebook, and many of the ones who do use it only reluctantly, and even then only using fake information.

Did they have BOXCUTTERS in ancient Rome?January 21, 2012 6:32 PM

@Jason T. Miller:

I smell baiting, don't feed the troll, and this is why:

"Having none is already suspicious today.."

Sounds like an Agent provocateur:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agent_provocateur

Remember, paid shills for governments and corporations love to poison forums and discussions.

If you're fortunate enough to have neither a Facebook or Twitter account, I give you an electronic high five for having a brain.

Everywhere you go today, it's whoring for both services, urging you like an in your face Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction to LIKE THIS and LIKE THAT via Facebook and Twitter and JOIN IN because everyone else is! One big orgy of information to sift through.

Don't you want to share?

Don't you want to contribute?

I'd rather stab my eyes out with a pencil than join the horde of morons and their GPS tagged photos and stupid web based crack addicted farmville zombies.

I believe everyone who uses Facebook and Twitter should have a barcode printed right between the eyes so everyone knows just how stupid they are.

The generation of Dexter and Saw TV/Movie fans can piss off. A swarm of zombie worshipping, vampire loving, "secret circle" jerkers who are poisoned by the occult.

Tormail's not bad, not official but it does the job:
http://jhiwjjlqpyawmpjx.onion/

ThomasJanuary 21, 2012 11:38 PM

@Jason

"... and even then only using fake information."

'fake' information doesn't help, because you can't fake your social graph and that's one of the most important bits of information they're after.

Other info
- where you log on from (combine with ISP log retention laws and presto, instant identity!)
- when, and for how long
- what games you play, for how long
- where you were before (HTTP referrer)
- where you go next (redirect links instead of direct ones)
- what sites you visit (the ones with "like on facebook" on them that report back to FB)
etc. etc. etc. is also valuable and difficult to fake.

Just because you sign up as "John Doe" doesn't mean they're not getting lots of information about you.

SomeoneJanuary 22, 2012 6:33 AM

Where is the funny part in the video? Maybe where the middle guy says that that's how they got his brother....

Does Fight Club = CIA?January 22, 2012 3:41 PM

"Just because you sign up as "John Doe" doesn't mean they're not getting lots of information about you."

Exactly, your surfing/net use habits could be considered a form of e-DNA.

raclarkmisJanuary 23, 2012 11:01 AM

@someone

that and ...
"social networking allows me to interact with my fans without seeing, hearing, or smelling them"

DexterFanJanuary 23, 2012 10:08 PM

@BOXCUTTERS

First you high-five me (I do not really believe in massive social networks, and have no accounts on sites supporting them) but then you diss one of my favourite TV shows. OK, clearly I am starved of "sharing" in a normal way, so let me just go OT for a moment...

I vaguely understand your anger at the cult of appreciation which follows certain shows or book franchises, but can you understand that there are people who can appreciate shows like Dexter because they are original drama, not because there is lots of swearing and a body every 5 minutes? He does work for metro homicide, you know? Death at work, death at home. He's burning the candle both ends. Cut the guy some slack! ;-)

Anyway, Dexter really doesn't deal in the occult. It's just a procedural cop drama with an original twist. With some gratuitous swearing and violence and depravity 'cause it's on cable. SPOILER, for those who don't know the twist: Gur pbc qvq vg!

Dave FJanuary 24, 2012 12:08 PM

first: Please, Please convince me that this is The Onion and not real.
second: Facebook is just the start. Why can't I get a hair cut without having a prefered customer card? I tell the girl at the counter that I don't mind if you know what kind of hair cuts I get but Billy in accounting really doesn't need to know. She informed me that Billy in accounting won't know. Asked, then why the card? Light (OK 5 W) goes on Ohhhh!

JimCJanuary 25, 2012 1:13 PM

Next on Facebook: link your cellphone location uplink automatically to Facebook and use their webpage as a public GPS of where you are going, the Facebook generated route for you to follow and your actual route... real time.

All space aliens must be destroyedJanuary 26, 2012 2:10 PM

We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false.-- William Casey, CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

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