The Onion on Security

It’s from The Onion, but I wouldn’t find it strange coming from any real news source. When it comes to handling security in the media, nothing is too wacky, it would seem.

BF Skinner • September 25, 2009 6:25 AM

From the reports it sounds initially like Zazi and company are the real deal. How big a threat remains to be seen.

But still…The Feebee’s ‘agents found Zazi’s fingerprints on a scale and double-A batteries’.

This is evidence?

Apparently the VLWC media asked about because an official went on record saying ‘scale could have been used to weigh bomb components’

Thomas Claburn • September 25, 2009 7:59 AM

Honorable mention, also from The Onion:

DHS Sets Security Alert Level To Green For 8 Seconds

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/dhs_sets_security_alert?utm_source=c-section

BF Skinner • September 25, 2009 8:41 AM

“Security Alert Level To Green ”

Ah. That’s why I was able to relax.

John Waters • September 25, 2009 9:06 AM

Clearly demonstrates the existential threat of domestic terrorist groups and far right wing militias.

As an American Muslim I am deeply disturbed about this business of indiscriminately leaving pork products in public spaces… People need to keep their moldy hunks of smokey hog-butt to themselves.

Unless it was really made out of turkey, in that case I am all over that stuff like suck on an MS SQL server.

Scott G. Lewis • September 26, 2009 7:22 AM

This happened in real life too. Well, it was all beef hotdogs, but close enough.

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/26886002/

David Harmon • September 26, 2009 7:46 AM

While you’re having fun, here’s a stray authentication joke from a webcomic:

http://www.webcomicsnation.com/shaenongarrity/narbonic_plus/series.php?comment_submitted=1