Schneier on Security

fantastic, simply fantastic.
I'm quite sure, that people would buy it. Even if it's simply a blue paper.

Way to go, Aaron! That's glorious!

Half an hour and he hasn't updated his website resumé yet? ;-)

Funny and plausible. Good!

50 units of Fame And Glory is here by handed to Aaron Massey.

Great job!

Congratulations Aaron! Next time, I'll use base 10!

When did lolcats buy this blog?

Brilliant. If that were advertised, plenty people would think it very reasonable.

Congratulations Aaron! Nicely done...and welcome to the small, but growing club of threatening movie plotters.

Thank you, thank you! I am surprised and pleased that I won!

Seriously though, I encourage you to look at the other entries. There's a lot of great fear-inspiring entrepreneurs out there.

Also, congratulations to the other semi-finalists! I particularly enjoyed reading the comments in the voting thread. :-)

... and yet the DNA Adulterometer seems to have real-world implications for clear and present dangers TODAY.

Fast-Food Workers Spit In Customer Drinks

POSTED: 12:19 pm EDT May 13, 2008
UPDATED: 9:11 am EDT May 15, 2008

EUNICE, La. -- Two fast-food workers at a Sonic eatery in Eunice spit into customers' drinks, a company representative said.

Several customers at the restaurant said their drinks were spiked with saliva.

"(My daughter) came up here and got a soda and come to find out some girls spit in the drink" father Joe Lawrence said.

A Sonic representative told KFLY-TV that the incident has been investigated and action has been taken.

Sonic said that the former employees at the eatery spit in the drinks, the KFLY report said.

"It was brought to my attention by the manager of the store that the incident was brought to his attention that an employee had spit in a drink of a customer," Sonic representative Steve Richard said.

Some customers said the incident made them sick to their stomachs.

"That is horrible," customer Jacquelyn Bourque said. "That is very bad because you really don't know how long they've been doing it."

Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

http://www.local6.com/spotlight/16252770/detail.html

I confess, I would probably get scammed by anyone to offer me these anti-laser-pointer-sunglasses. At least if they are looking cool. Although I know, they are bogus, I still feel the need to protect my eyes from evil guys with laser pointers. Obviously useless security products are the only thing to provide protection from imaginary threats - and don't tell me, you don't have any irrational fears ;)

Congratulations!

Now all you have to do is come up with a business plan :-)

@Tom-

High-end polarized sunglasses would work pretty well against low-power lasers (save when their polarity precisely matches).

Have we considered the possibility of voting fraud? ;)

@Phillip

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All Hail Aaron!
All Hail Aaron!
All Hail Aaron!
All Hail Aaron!
All Hail Aaron!

Could I get an autographed strip for my kid?

Hmmm. See Contaminated Toothpaste from China Frequently Asked Questions. Is is still valid if the threat is real?

Baaah - the URL didrn't make it - http://www.fda.gov/oc/opacom/hottopics/toothpaste/faqs.html

um... lasers are not polarised. For glasses that will protect you against lasers, you need proper laser safety goggles (google 'em!)

They normally set you back about $50 for a decent pair, and you need multiple pairs if you are working with multiple lasers with different wavelengths, since each pair protects you only against a narrow bandwidth. Also, you need make sure you are wearing the *right* pair. A good method is to store the glasses with the lasers.

Not a scam: check out any site selling decent high powered lasers. Critically important if you are working with even fairly low-power lasers outside of visible wavelengths, as the blink reflex won't kick in as it would with a laser pointer.

Just google laser goggles.

Of course, no realistic way to protect a random member of public against a random laser wielded by a terrorist, without completely screening out their eyes against all wavelengths... which kinda destroys the point. Maybe something reactive could work?

Er, ok, but why wouldn't people just stop using tooth "paste" or switch brands to a natural/local option?

Are we to believe the barrier to exit toothpaste is really that high?

For example powder works just as well tor hygiene. The fact that it passes airport security controls has led many people to adopt it already.

I think a more devastating plot would be one where people are truly afraid to switch away, as alternatives are made to appear more risky than a "fix"; one where people spend themselves deeper into addiction while they actually think they are making themselves safer. This threat-based system was perhaps best utilized by Rockefeller and documented by Tarbell in "The History of the Standard Oil Company"

After all, a toothpaste shortage/ban is hardly a crisis, but if gasoline goes away...

"Sadly, two of those five was above the 150-word limit."

Wait, what? Are you honestly saying that a security contest didn't validate its input? It seems wrong that you kept two other entries out of the running just because someone couldn't be bothered to "wc -w".

My take on this is that ALL the finalists are winners, and that Bruce should keep doing this as an educational exercise. Not that most of the readers here need it, but there's the rest of the world that truly does. Humour induces change in the rational. Perhaps expecting rationality is optimistic, but I just had a great day ;~).

Thanks all.

DC

"Wait, what? Are you honestly saying that a security contest didn't validate its input?"

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I thougth I did, but I forgot.

Okay, I bow before the master. All of us were pikers, compared to these guys...

http://www.shomer-tec.com/product/the-brief-safe-293.cfm

@Dewi:

But you're missing the beauty of the All-Spectrum Omni-Polarization Laser-Pointer Safety Goggles: all you need to do is send out the opaque glasses that the blind wear.

It's not even false advertising, if you don't imply that you'll be able to do anything requiring sight whilst wearing the ASOPLP Safety Goggles.

Remember, we're trying to profit from hysterical fear here.

"Now all you have to do is come up with a business plan :-)"

I'm sure he could hire a botnet to SPAM it to the world, with the extra marketing blurb "Award winning! Recommended by Bruce Schneier!"

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For the laser goggles, why not go with the proven proxying principle: completly opaque, with small LCD screens inside and micro cameras on the outside. Optical data logging and profanity filters optional. "Free this month, the ever popular "PINK filter", never feel blue again!.

3 cheers for all competitors, 3x3 for Aaron, and 3^3 for Bruce!

I recently heard that the "Alertness Alert" device is now real (intended as a safeguard against falling asleep at the wheel).

Perhaps there should be a second award for real products and services that are overreactions to trivial or imaginary risks.

On second thought, make it TWO new awards. So many politicians' ideas would qualify that they should compete in their own category.