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February 15, 2008

DHS in The Onion

Funny.

Posted on February 15, 2008 at 11:57 AM12 CommentsView Blog Reactions

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Comments

The biggest problem I see the Onion as having is that reality catches up too quickly.

Posted by: jack c lipton at February 15, 2008 12:14 PM


That was very funny. I think my brother still thinks them as a valid (non-spoof) news source

Posted by: Andy at February 15, 2008 12:36 PM


The "Unimportant Lost Folder Alert System" chart is a keeper.

Posted by: Carlo Graziani at February 15, 2008 01:06 PM


This reminds me of when the second shuttle blew up over texas.

"The pieces falling are not harmless in any way. But for God's sake don't touch them! Just call us and we'll send some black SUVs over with men in hazmat suits. But really, nothing to worry about"

i.e. we'd like to scare you, but don't be scared.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 15, 2008 01:46 PM


Best line in the story:

"He also outlined tactics that the DHS has taken thus far to recover the folder, including retracing their steps all the way back to a local Starbucks, going through the office trash bin, waterboarding several members of the DHS cleaning staff, and looking in the same desk drawer 10 times."

Posted by: CJ at February 15, 2008 02:00 PM


And that right there is the reason why I declined the CIA position. I'd end up leaving classified docs at Putin's house.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 15, 2008 03:49 PM


Every problem can be solved by a one-way screw.

Posted by: Alan at February 15, 2008 05:42 PM


@Carlo Graziani,
you can create your own fear charts here: http://fear.tjp.hu/

Posted by: Kees at February 16, 2008 10:15 AM


Slightly less funny:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23185937/

"American Samoa's delegate to the U.S. Congress ...has asked the Department of Homeland Security to begin an investigation into death of 14-day-old Michael Tony Futi last Friday.

The baby had been flown to Honolulu for emergency heart surgery. He died while detained inside a customs' room at the Honolulu airport with his mother and a nurse."

Posted by: natenido at February 16, 2008 02:22 PM


The company I work for blocks the Onion.

Posted by: ICantSee at February 18, 2008 12:51 PM


Sadly, this could happen very easily; if not a folder, then an electronic equivalent.

@Carlo Graziani:
I liked the chart, too. :)

@ICantSee:
Try Tor; it will circumvent many types of network filters:
https://torproject.org

Do know, though, that using Tor on a company network (or circumventing network "security" measures in any way), may violate some part of your employment agreement, and result in instant fire-ization.

Posted by: CipherChaos at February 19, 2008 09:08 PM


On some topics (for instance, the environmental movement), The Onion is straight news - and more reliable than most other sources!

Posted by: John David Galt at February 23, 2008 03:43 PM


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