Schneier on Security
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October 20, 2007
"Conceptual Terrorists Encase Sears Tower In Jell-O"
From The Onion:
"Your outdated ideas of what terrorism is have been challenged," an unidentified, disembodied voice announces following the video's first 45 minutes of random imagery set to minimalist techno music. "It is not your simple bourgeois notion of destructive explosions and weaponized biochemical agents. True terror lies in the futility of human existence."
While officials have yet to determine the purpose of the attack, a number of potential theories have emerged, including the sudden deregulation of the U.S. economy, the destruction of culturally significant landmarks, and maybe the fact that man, in his essence, is no more than a collection of irrational fragments, incapable of finding reason where no reason exists.
Posted on October 20, 2007 at 10:50 AM
• 13 Comments
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Note the date on the article? Over 42 dog-years after that fateful day!
Is the latent genius DHS policies finally apparent?
Imagine how much earlier this attack could have taken place if terrorists hadn't been restricted to 4 ounces of jell-o per flight!
Imagine the devastating confusion it could have caused if it were not for DHS's ceaseless campaign heighten the average citizens resistance to meaninglessness.
Imagine how much more difficult it would have been to clear the carnage with metal knives and forks rather than DHS approved plastic sporks!
This is a shocking and confusing act indeed. Why couldn't the terrorists have used a more likely flavour of Jell-O, like lime.
However in times of such confusion and uncertainty, it is indeed comforting to see the government act exactly as expected: taking pointless actions against ordinary citizens in the name of preventing "another aesthetic tragedy" while it continues to prop up the regimes of architects like Gehry and Libeskind.
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