Wondermark on Security

Another comic.

Posted on October 20, 2017 at 2:46 PM • 11 Comments

Comments

Bugalugs PercyshireOctober 20, 2017 4:46 PM

My word, dear Sir! Those fellows seem to be in quite the pickle, there! I do say, the joviality to be had within this publication was enough to cause me to lose my once firm grasp upon my monocle!

WaelOctober 20, 2017 6:40 PM

Guv: Norvin, to ensure that you do not steal any of my clearly labeled food from the fridge, I've hired Burkins here to be on 24/7 guard duty

Norvin: Steal your...food? You think I want to steal your refried sardines and kale dumplings?

Guv: Familiar with the particulars, eh? No matter! It'll stay safe and sound in the crisper drawer! Burkins will see to that, isn't that so, Burkins?

Burkins: Righty-O

Norvin: I have no interest in stealing your "food", if you even want to call it that.

Guv: Then you won't mind the security! Nothing to hide, nothing to fear, I always say, starting now

Guv: Besides, Burkins will work for us all! You should be glad of his services, as he'll also ensure I don't steal your food

Norvin: Is that a risk? Are you likely to steal my food? Which is also, I will note, clearly labeled!

Guv: Not with Burkins on duty! Right, Burkins?

Burkins: You can sleep sound tonight, Guv, I have eyes of a leopard, I do, I do

Guv: Of course, if Burkins will be guarding both our food, I expect you will contribute half towards his wages

Norvin: How about you just don't eat my food, and I don't need to pay Burkins?

Guv: It's a dangerous world, Norvin! I'm trying to help you out, here!

Soon...

Guv: It seems that whilst performing a routine saftey check, Burkins accidentally threw the contents of the fridge out the window.

Burkins: In appology, please allow me to offer you a free year's subscription to the "burkins nails all your windows shut" premium elite protection plan

So Guv is the Government: "Nothing to hide, nothing to fear,"
Who are the two other characters? What are they stealing from each other? I see the security controls are shot, the security guard messed up, and he's proposing a more stringent solution that does not solve the problem as both Guv and Norvin will have to access to the fridge or both won't... Russia? TLA??? And the first picture from the left on the second row, Burkins should be looking at Guv... strange cartoon. Even humor requires thinking these days. Nothing is free... I would just prefer to look at it and smile without firing a single thinking neuron.

James JoyceOctober 22, 2017 3:49 PM

Norvin incurs in a paradox when trying to unmask the hypocritical reciprocity in Guv's proposal:

How about you just don't eat my food, and I don't need to pay Burkins?

Spanish-speaking readers will remember the Spanish proverb that says "It's only the thieves who think that everyone else is a thief."

Jesse ThompsonOctober 22, 2017 5:13 PM

@wael:

Burkins (who calls arbitrary other people "Guv", and in this case he calls Norvin that due to British faux-politeness) does represent either the government, or the ill-conceived portions of the commercial sector of contracted security service which presumably include Equifax.

Guy-on-the-left represents the shadier side of the more socialist portions of the population who try to make it commonplace for the Burkins' of the world to intercede in everybody's affairs, and to externalize the cost(s) of doing so.

Norvin (guy on the right) represents the more favorably lit side of the laissez faire portions of the population who prefers civic responsibility over having an incompetent person or organization act as nanny over everyone, at least over what he views as trivial and already-easily-managed potential disputes.

The food in the fridge is just whatever assets that one person views as simple to maintain via honor system (whether because it is already cut and dried or because it allows them to get away with petty theft is never entirely disambiguated) while another may wish to over-complicate matters — either to sate their own anxieties or else to manipulate others for their own net gain. Most likely it represents confidential information, such as credit data lost in the recent Equifax breach.

WaelOctober 22, 2017 8:50 PM

@Jesse Thompson,

Thanks. I figured what the food in the fridge meant. Didn’t know about his habit of calling others “Guv”... The rest makes sense. Still some disambiguation needed. Cute cartoon.

gordoOctober 22, 2017 11:26 PM

Mouseover caption: Well, if Burkins is to be fired, let's blame all the theft to date on him, just to wrap all that up

Burkins?

Petre PeterNovember 10, 2017 11:20 AM

Remember! We cannot have a private event in a public library; we cannot keep a book private while it's on a public shelf. Can they really agree to share the fridge without it's contents? How can they keep something private while making it public? Public libraries solve this with first come first served. It seems that they are not arguing about the food but about who owns the fridge.

Leave a comment

Allowed HTML: <a href="URL"> • <em> <cite> <i> • <strong> <b> • <sub> <sup> • <ul> <ol> <li> • <blockquote> <pre>

Photo of Bruce Schneier by Per Ervland.

Schneier on Security is a personal website. Opinions expressed are not necessarily those of IBM Resilient.