Pork-Filled Counter-Islamic Bomb Device
Okay, this is just weird:
Mark S. Price, a specialist in public security, and his privately held company, Paradise Lost Antiterrorism Network of America (www.plan-a.us), have recently applied to the United States Patent and Trademark Office for a Utility Patent on their Suicide Bomb Deterrent, a security device designed, manufactured and distributed by PLAN-A. This device has been designed to warn and deter potential fanatical religious suicide bomb-wielding terrorists from otherwise detonating an explosive charge within close proximity of said device, to the intended end of successfully accomplishing its namesake purpose of Suicide Bomb Deterrent and the protecting and preserving of all life and property otherwise in mortal and destructive danger.
Reading the partial patent application on their minimal website, it appears to be a packet of pork product, combined with a big sign saying something like: “Warning. If you blow up a bomb right here, you’ll get pork stuff all over you before you die—which might be suboptimal from a religious point of view.”
This appears to not be a joke.