Jeremy Clarkson on Security Guards
Nice essay:
Of course, we know why he's really there. He's really there so that if the bridge is destroyed by terrorists, the authorities can appear on the television news and say they had taken all possible precautions. Plus, if you employ a security guard, then I should imagine that your insurance premiums are going to be significantly lower.
This is probably why so many companies use security guards these days. It must be, because when it comes to preventing a crime, they are pretty much useless. No, really. If you are planning a heist, job one on the list of things to do is "take out the guard". He is therefore not an impenetrable wall of steel; he's just a nuisance.
And he's not just a nuisance to the people planning to hit him on the head. He's also a nuisance to the thousands of people who legitimately wish to enter or leave the building he's supposed to be guarding.
At the office where I work, everyone is issued with laminated photo-ID cards that open all the barriers and doors. It is quite impossible to make any sort of progress unless you have such a thing about your person. But even so, every barrier and door is also guarded by a chap who, in a fight, would struggle to beat Christopher Robin. One looks like his heart would give out if you said "boo." Another has a face that's so grey that, in some lights, he appears to be slightly lilac. I cannot for the life of me work out what these people are supposed to achieve, apart from making the lives of normal people a little bit more difficult.
EDITED TO ADD (4/13): Another Clarkson essay, this one on security theater.
Posted on March 30, 2010 at 6:06 AM • 53 Comments
BF Skinner • March 30, 2010 6:42 AM
There's some conflation here.
The "security guard" is a range. We have the retiree night watch, the fully armed and armored police officer working part-time (which is what they had at my last gig - I thought they were just you know eating the bulky food - then I found they were in tac vests while on duty) Then there is the MP. The best example I think of is the US Air Force's Air Police. At the base gates (only place I saw them) heavily armed professional specialists. We would frequently give Navy SPs grief (after all they were just petty officers like us doing a collateral duty) but the word was don't mess with the AP.
So each type of guard serves a different threat model.
I know maintained alarms are good but in the words of General Berrienger "We've had men in those silos since before any of you guys were watching "Howdy Doody"! Now I myself sleep pretty well knowing those boys are down there. "
I regard the guard as a layer in the security enviornment. (I want to say laminate but no one will know what I'm saying. I hate the idea of layered security as commonly practiced. Unless each security "layer" is interdependent on other layers then they are just individual hurdles to overcome as the article describes.)
Humans are adaptable and can respond to a wide range of events. Say an alarm goes off. What has to happen? A human has to go investigate. If they find something then they call (fire dept, police, tactical response) whatever.