How to Survive a Robot Uprising
It’s Friday, so why not something a little silly?
This is a good start:
i’m reading about how to survive a robot uprising. i’m not gonna give away all the secrets, but i’ll share a few…
- choose a complex environment. waterfalls, street traffic, and places with lots of ambient noise confuse the robots.
- lose your heat signature. smear yourself with mud and leaves and sit real still.
- use uncommon words to suss out robots on the phone. robots do not know how to pronounce supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.
- find a blunt weapon. serrated edges won’t work on robo exo-skeletons. nope.
- alter your stride. robots can judge gait and injury, even height and intention, by stride, so put some rocks in your shoes and mix things up a bit. doing some ministry of silly walks stuff goes even further towards confusing them.
- pretend that everything is normal. to forstall a mechanized killing spree, you must pretend that nothing is amiss.
Surely we can do better. Any other suggestions?
EDITED TO ADD (1/30): Okay, it was Tuesday.