Schneier on Security

Crna Ruka • December 7, 2005 5:50 PM

Dolphins with cameras attached to pectoral fins helped the US Navy clear the Iraqi port of Umm Qasr during the 2003 offensive. Even though the dolphins (cameras attached) located the mines, and were not trained to destroy the mines, left field lunatics quickly attacked the practice as cruel and illegal stating the dolphins “had not consented or agreed to enlist in the US Navy.”

Coming from CCN a “news service” that has routinely heavily padded any actual news it’s ever broadcast with generous servings of extreme leftwing propaganda and blatant lies only further implies hoax. Having personally collected an extensive dossier on the organization I stand by that.

Discipline is imperative requirement for any effective military and is central for the US military, and while the use of animals to perform certain higher level tasks than those performed by horses or mules, such as K9s employed during the Vietnam conflict, suggesting the ‘US military trained armed dolphins’ and doing it in such fashion as to lead people, or “useful idiots” as Lenin called them, into believing now they’re armed dangerous and out there somewhere is ridiculous.

Though I often had suspicions the US Navy was hearing a different drummer than the rest of us, I’m confident even they wouldn’t arm dolphins. Any idea where the term “loose cannon” originated? What happens if there’s an illegal killing? They going to court martial the dolphin?

Chances are like most myths, legends and propaganda there is some basis in fact, for instance research into the use of dolphins for use as a sort of a living predator drone would be plausible, and even though it’s easy to see why it wouldn’t be practical, that wouldn’t stop Washington from throwing some money at it. If this is the case it changes nothing as far as hoaxing is concerned, CNN and others still would have purposely misled their viewers and readers by leaving out important facts. Facts, doing the story they most certainly would have known and with the obvious purposeful intentions causing the belief the evil and inept “Industrial Military Complex” has committed yet another unbelievably dastardly deed, this time by negligently allowing murderous robot-like dolphinian killing machines armed with military weaponry to escape into the oceans (they maliciously poisoned to construct the weapons they manufactured to arm the dolphins?).

I first heard this story immediately following the hurricane, it gave me a good laugh first few times I heard it, not because ‘armed’ dolphins escaped, but that there is people dumb enough to believe it was true.